This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
held in Britain
1. Banta Singh walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of
beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each
one in turn.
When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in
the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Dubai , the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When they left
home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when
we drank together."
The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the
same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars
notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender
says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
sincere condolences on your great loss."
Banta Singh looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs.... "Oh, no,"
He said, "Everyone's fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is . .
I have quit drinking"!!!
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3. A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, Banta Singh,
came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it,
looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went
to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came
again,looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and
then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,"Is something wrong?"
To which the ferocious Singh replied, " There certainly is! My stupid
computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
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4. Banta Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came
asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh."
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, "No No
Me " Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was
totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to
him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more
educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is
looking for you and bothering me while you are sitting and smiling over here!"
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5. Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint
Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in
education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:
A. Name two days of the week that begin with "T"
B. How many seconds are in a year?
The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
A. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
B. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even
though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in
a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,
etc..."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.
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6. Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all
around his living room.
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few
minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'.
How does he know that?"
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7. Having lost his donkey B. Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?"
The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing
too."
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8. Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes
off
and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant,
socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says
here,
"Answer the following questions in brief' ."
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9. Banta Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you
doing?"
To this Banta Singh replies, "Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin "."
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10. Banta on a personal visit to Las Vegas wanted to talk to his
wife but was afraid and did not want to disturb her due to the Time
Zone difference. So he picked up the Phone and asked the long distance
telephone operator " Could you please tell me the Time difference
between Patiala and Las Vegas "
Operator : " Just a minute, Sir ... "
Santa: " Thank You " and hung up
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11. After completing a jigsaw puzzle, he had been working on for
quite some time, Banta Ji proudly showed off his finished handiwork to
his friend Santa.
" It took me only 5 months to do it " Banta bragged
" Five Months " That's too long " exclaimed Santa.
" Santa you are a fool. See this puzzle. It is written " For 4-7 Years
" replied Banta
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